I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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