he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
