god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
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Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
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I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I deserve this hangover.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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