Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And then my night got REAL pukey
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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