i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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