it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
