i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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