i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
