do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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