will power is for people who don't want to get laid
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
