he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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