i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
