dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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