are you still at the devil's house?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize