you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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