and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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