Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
