just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
