the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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