my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize