Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
