My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
