I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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