love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
