YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
