She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
