..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
