mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
