they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
