No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
