2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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