We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
