Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
