Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
