garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
