He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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