Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
