Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Randomize
