google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
