I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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