I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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