Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
