Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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