i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
