wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
