piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
