yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize