Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
