I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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