"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
