shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
