He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
