I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
