Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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