70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
