Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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