I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
