oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
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