I faked an abortion last night.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
