I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
