I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We are all done wearing pants today
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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