you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
